


im in pain

by diluc_railing_b



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: AHHHHHHH AGHHHHHH IM IN SO MUCH PAIN, Angst, Blood Play, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex, no beta we die like men, okay uh umm, please i cant do this i cant dont make me, theres a cat i guess, unnecessary killing off of characters all over the place, virgin.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:14:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28657788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diluc_railing_b/pseuds/diluc_railing_b
Summary: this is based off of some ff.net fic i read years ago... ed and envy fuck and that is really it. people die for the angst or whatever. please save yourself this is pain.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Envy
Comments: 13
Kudos: 23





	1. no no no no this is bad this is bad

**Author's Note:**

> the title isnt some edgy foreshadowing this piece of literature wounds my very being. have fun

On the outskirts of West City, in the town of Erhejafnu, Edward Elric was busy exchanging blows with his mortal enemy, the homunculus Envy. The two knew the other’s fighting styles by heart at this point, since it was almost always Envy who got in Ed’s way.

“You’re slowing down, Pipsqueak. What's the matter: you're tired already?”

“Don't.. call me short…” Ed forced out. He had already sustained several injuries, and was getting lightheaded from blood loss. Damn, I can't afford to lose to this asshole again. I was so close to finding out something new about the philosopher’s stone too!

The blond charged at the sin once again, attempting to get some good blows in before he passed out. Envy chuckled lightly at his attempts before grabbing the blond by the neck and slamming him into the wall.

“You know very well we can't let you die too soon, Sacrifice. If you stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, then it'll make life easier for the both of us.” After this statement, Envy kneed Ed’s stomach harshly, causing the blond to finally pass out. 

I can’t just leave him here, or he might die of blood loss. Envy carried the alchemist outside in the pouring rain before dumping him on a deserted street. As if that was much better than inside an abandoned warehouse.

\---

“Hey, kid, can you hear me?! Are you okay?!”

Ed slowly opened his eyes. He was face down in a puddle, and someone was talking to him. What… he began to think before he remembered. The alchemist’s eyes widened before he struggled to sit up. “Envy…” he growled.

“Oh god, you're hurt! You need to get to a hospital immediately!”

Ed finally looked up to see an average, middle aged man crouching at his side. 

“I'm fine,” Ed said as he shakily stood up. He took a few steps before crumpling to the ground. His vision began to fail him, and the blond lost consciousness once again.

\---

When Ed woke up again, he found himself in a plain white room, with an annoying beeping noise in the background.

“Brother! You're awake!” Alphonse cried excitedly.

Groaning, Ed said, “Tone it down a bit, Al. My ears are ringing.” Al muttered some apologies and the room became silent for a few more moments.

Al spoke up again after a while, with a calmer tone. “So… did you find out anything about the stone?” The younger brother had assumed not, but he wanted to start up a conversation.

“No. Fucking Envy got in my way again.” Ed growled out, annoyed.

“I see. Well, at least you made it out okay! You really should have brought be along, Brother!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ed replied. He wasn't in the mood for a conversation right now. The blond stared out the hospital window, lost in his thoughts.

That goddamned Envy. He keeps stopping me right when I'm just about to reach the stone! He’s always calling me a fucking ‘Sacrifice’, but never tells me what the hell that means! If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that there was some ulterior motive behind the homunculi’s actions. But they're all such annoying pricks! I doubt they want anything more than to fuck up my life!

As Ed was getting riled up with his thoughts, a nurse walked in and told Al that visiting hours were over. Al left respectfully, but only after sparing a final glance at his incredibly salty brother.

\---

Envy smirked as he walked back to his mini hideout. It was always so fun to mess with that Elric brat! He had basically no chance of beating the marvelous homunculus, but he tried so hard anyway! Envy almost found it cute how angry the brat could get. Wait… Cute? What the fuck. No. Envy thought, his smirk falling.

As the sin neared the ramshackle house in the woods, his co-worker, Lust walked out of it. Without her saying anything, Ency knew that she wanted to know how everything went.

“The shrimp got completely wrecked, as always. I never let him get too close to our knowledge, and he's probably in some hospital right now. The usual.”

Lust nodded. “Do you think we should start collecting the sacrifices soon? We’ve been protecting them for some time now, but Father is nearly ready for them to be used.”

Envy hummed in thought. “Not a bad idea. I’d have even more fun keeping that pipsqueak in a cage where he belongs. Imagine what I could do!” He grinned sadistically.

“Well then, now would be a good time to collect Edward, and perhaps his brother too. They're weaker than usual, so it'll make your job much easier.”

Envy groaned at the thought of walking all the way back to that city that he just left, but nodded anyway. He turned right around and idly thought about annoying Ed to the max once he was caught.

But…. there's no way I won't have a little fun before caging him up.


	2. dear god its a furry

Ed and Al, mostly due to Ed’s impatience, moved out of the hospital room in favor of a hotel. Ed said that the hospital was “too crusty” and smelled “like someone died and they tried too hard to cover it up”. Al sighed. A. How was a hospital crusty? B. Of course people had died in there!

Since Ed was (supposed to be) resting in their nice hotel, Al decided to take a walk and perhaps buy a few things. They shouldn't be leaving the hotel too soon, so some food couldn't hurt. 

On the way back from his little trip, Al heard thunder rumbling in the distance. Almost on cue, he spotted a tiny black shape staring right at him. Poor thing, he must be scared of the rain! I'd better bring him in, so he doesn't get wet.

\---

Ed looked up from the book he was reading, somewhat acknowledging Al’s entrance. He was about to go back to reading when he heard the smallest of meows.

Quirking an eyebrow, Ed said, “Heyyy Al, what do you have there? Surely not a furry creature?”

Al began looking around guiltily. “Uhh… of course not, Brother! I’ve just gotten into… um… animal impersonations!” Right as Al finished, the tiny black cat decided to jump out of his armor. “No, you weren't supposed to leave!” Al scolded before looking up at his brother.

“Put it back.” Ed deadpanned.

“But it's raining!”

“That little demon can handle it.”

“He was so scared! How can I put him back through that?!”

“Al… FINE. But he better be gone before I wake up!”

Al almost jumped with glee. “Sir, yes, sir,” he said, almost sarcastically. Ed sighed dramatically and returned to reading as Al tended to the cat.

\---

Ed groggily woke up. Something felt strange about his chest… like it was heavier than it should be. I'd better not be getting sick he thought miserably. When he glanced down, he saw a small figure on top of him. Wha…

The blond finally registered what was on him and growled in anger. The fucking cat was on him, kneading and purring innocently. Ed stared the cat down for a few minutes. Annoyed, he grabbed the furry creature by the scruff of its neck and threw it to the ground.

“Don't fucking get on me again, little beast.”

\---

For the second time that night, Ed woke up. However, this time, it was because of a slight pressure in his lower regions. What the hell? I haven't had a wet dream in forever…

The short alchemist looked down to see the fucking little beast on him again. And it was kneading right on his dick!

Ed looked at the cat, blushing. The thing almost looked like it knew what it was doing. Angrily, the blond grabbed the cat and threw him into a secluded room, ignoring his brothers protest.

Well shit. Now I have to go jack off to be able to fucking sleep again.

And he did just that.

\---

If Envy wasn't currently a cat, he would be laughing maniacally.

The look on the Fullmetal Pipsqueak’s face! Oh, God, I've never seen anything so amazing! I almost don't want to lock that shrimp up. He's too perfect!

The sin had half a mind to make an easy escape of the room he was trapped in to go screw with the small alchemist some more, but let it slide. I'll have plenty of time to fuck with him tomorrow he thought. He, instead, changed back into his preferred form and jumped out a window, fingering the silver object in his pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please can i stop posting this please


	3. what the hell why have 5 of you given kudos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really what are you doing escape while you can huh??????? please dont give this any attention

The next morning, Ed was salty. Not just lightly salted, he was pure NaCl. His sleep was disturbed by a ‘furry beast’ that Al brought in. So, yes, he completely blamed Al for his loss of rest. Not only that, but he just realized that a certain precious item was missing from his collection.

Ed was delighted that the cat had mysteriously disappeared during the night, and was too annoyed to care that Al was really bummed out about it.

The brothers were walking around Erhejafnu. Ed insisted that they at least look around, for either his watch or some random homunculus, since he hated waiting around doing nothing. Al insisted that they don't ‘spread out to cover more ground’, since Ed was still injured. They compromised and explored the town together.

However, Ed was much too stubborn for a compromise, and did everything in his power to lose Al. He wasn't so weak as to need a bodyguard! And, soon enough, he succeeded.

Ed was careful to explore every nook and cranny of the small town. In one alleyway, in the ‘downtown’ part of Erhejafnu, he spotted a red flash. Evidence that someone's using a philosopher’s stone!

He waited for a moment before stealthily entering the narrow alley. The alchemist looked around, and spotted no one. In confusion, he stood up straight, losing his hiding spot behind a trashcan. He realized he fucked up as soon as he was slammed into the wall behind him.

Ed was only mildly surprised to see that it was Envy pinning him against the wall. The sin, smirking, began speaking.

“Hey, midget. How’ve you been doing lately?”

“WHO THE HELL DID YOU CALL A SUPER MIDGET THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO STEP ON THEM?!”

“Ahh, spicy today I see. Well, I actually have a proposal for you.”

Ed, calming down a bit, looked slightly interested, slightly concerned at the sin’s idea. “A… proposal?”

“Yep! Just let me follow you around for a bit!” Envy grinned. Yeah, he wasn't exactly caging Ed up like he was supposed to. But it was infinitely more interesting to get to stalk the beansprout than to coop him up.

“What the hell?! Why would I agree to that?”

Ed was almost afraid of the smug look Envy had on his face. Almost.

“Because, I'm assuming it's important for you to have this.” The homunculus pulled out a silver pocket watch. Ed’s silver pocket watch.

“How the fuck did you get your grimy hands on that?!” Ed yelled.

“Woah, woah, tone it down a bit, shorty.” Ed seethed at being called short. “When we were fighting before, you were stupid enough to let me grab it. So, my idea is, let me follow you for a while, and I won’t destroy your precious watch,”

The blond alchemist tried to look for any way to get out of this situation. Maybe if Al magically showed up, he cou-

“Brother! Dammit, why did you lose me like that! Now you’ve got Envy on you, stupid Brother!” Al cried out, standing at the entrance to the alleyway.

“Al!” Ed struggled against Envy’s grip. It was futile, but hey, he tried.

Sighing, Envy held both of Ed’s hands with one of his own, and transformed his free hand into a blade. This blade was held against Ed’s neck.

“Just let me have my way, Pipsqueak and Co™. I'm not gonna kill you, you should know that by now.”

“Then what’s the point of holding a blade to my neck, if you won't kill me?”

“Shut the fuck up. Fine, then, I'll destroy your watch right here and now.”

Ed looked at Al for help. The suit of armor was waiting for Ed’s signal to attack, not wanting to make the situation worse by acting rashly. Like a certain someone would have done.

Resigning, Ed said, “Fucking fine. Follow me around, cunt.”

Envy’s smirk widened after hearing this. He released his grip on the short alchemist, and put his hands behind his head. The relaxed posture of Envy only managed to irritate Ed more.

Throughout the day, the homunculus was constantly poking fun at the alchemist.

“Hey, pipsqueak,” Envy paused to let Ed yell his throat raw. “I saw you forsake that white colloid at your ‘lunch’ today. Is that what's stunting your growth?”

“IT’S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT THAT THAT CREAMY ASS CURDLED COW SECRETION IS TOO DISGUSTING TO GO DOWN MY THROAT!” 

Later…

“Hey, flea. How do you even manage to make it everywhere so quickly?”

“What do you mean?” Ed asked, almost hoping that the sin was asking a genuine question for once. He managed to ignore the short joke because of this hope.

“Because… how the hell do your little legs carry you that far?”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE MIDGET WHO’S SMALLER THAN A GRAIN OF SAND?!”

Ed stared Envy down, hoping to kill him (for good) with looks. But all he saw was a smartass homunculus who had laughter dancing in his violet eyes.

Envy patted Ed on the head. “You're so cute, beansprout,”

The alchemist was blushing immensely. “I’M NOT FUCKING CUTE YOU…”

Laaaterrr...

“Hey, midget. Tell me something. Are… hmm…” Envy got closer to Ed and thought for a painfully long time.

“What is it you green bastard?”

“...a virgin?”

Ed sputtered in shock, blushing almost violently. “Wh-what?! Why're you so… why would you ask that?!”

“I was just thinking. You reacted so quickly to a little kitty’s touch on your dick, so I was a bit curious.”

“WHAT THE… THAT LITTLE BEAST WAS YOU?! FUCKING… WHY THE HELL… AL WHY DID YOU FUCKING BRING THAT DEMON IN?!”

Envy doubled over with laughter. Wiping a tear from his eye, he said, “Oh wow, I haven't laughed so hard in… forever. Your reactions are too perfect,”

Ed was fuming because he was bringing some enjoyment to the homunculus. “Fuck off,” he said simply before attempting to ignore Envy. 

“Fleaaa… Fullmetal Pipsqueaaak… Midgeeeet… Beansprouuuut…”

But the short comments got to him. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, YOU DICK?!”

“Hi.”

Ed genuinely didn't believe he'd survive the sin’s company.


	4. yooooooo time for bitches to die i think idk i dont read this before posting

A few days passed with the sin stalking the two brothers. Ed never asked when he’d fuck off and give the blond his watch back, not wanting to spark a smartass remark from the homunculus.

One day, the trio was chilling at a nice café in Erhejafnu, relaxing over some nice hot chocolate, when Ed started to listen in on some other people’s conversation. Not eavesdropping. Listening in.

“Hey, have you heard about the city a little bit nearby South City? Errmuh-something?”

“Ermutixso? Yeah, I’ve heard. Some gang took over, right?”

“Apparently they’ve even converted children to join! The whole place is some shooting shitstorm!”

“I’ve heard rumors that Ishbalans are the ones in charge.”

“Damn… they're never gonna give us a break are they? First, they rebel against us, and now this?”

Ed tuned out the conversation after that. He stood up slightly angrily, slammed some money on the table, and growled out, “We’re going to Ermutixso.”

Al didn't complain. His brother was ticked off at the situation, and wasn't about to let those people become terrorists without a fight. Envy, however, was just about to go off on the beansprout.

Dammit, these brats are getting themselves into a dangerous situation. They better not fuck up our plans by dying on me.

\---

The city of Ermutixso looked like a barren wasteland. Envy could very obviously tell that there had been a lot of gun violence in the town. Basically every building was riddled with bullet holes, and he even heard a few shots every so often.

Envy took notice in how much caution Ed was taking. More accurately, the complete lack of caution. That fucking midget is going to get himself killed. I will not allow that.

“Shrimp, why the hell did you even want to come here? Is your hero complex that bad?” Envy growled out.

“Oh, sir homunculus, are you concerned for me? I never thought you were capable of that!” Ed said sarcastically. 

“Concern? Don't put me on the same level as those pitiful human emotions, Fullmetal Pipsqueak.”

“ARE YOU CAL-”

“Brother, I think something's wrong!” Al interrupted suddenly. Instinctively, Ed transmuted his automail arm into a blade and pressed his back against Al’s. 

Envy glanced around, and cursed under his breath. He was too busy getting riled up over the situation that he failed to notice that they were fucking surrounded. The gang members began showing themselves, and shit didn't look too good.

One man, who Envy assumed to be the leader, spoke up. “Now, what do outsiders have any business doing here?”

“We just wanted to check out the situation! I’m a State Alchemist, and I want to make this area safer for you!” Ed yelled out, not taking his eyes off the excess of armed people in front of him. 

Fucking idiot. Envy thought. Just put it out there that you're part of the military, which basically everyone hates. I should have fucking locked you up when I had the chance.

“Oh, so it seems you want to stop this thriving town? What a great guy! Well, now that you’ve seen this, we can't very well let you get out.”

In sync, the gang members cocked their guns, and advanced on the trio.

Envy had just enough time to get in front of Ed before the shooting began. 

Ed, being mostly a melee fighter without his alchemy, was essentially helpless against so many guns. Al was a fucking suit of armor, so he didn't have much of a chance of getting harmed. Envy growled in irritation as his body was pumped full of bullets. 

The alchemist seemed to be frozen once everyone started shooting. He felt completely and utterly helpless, and it didn't register to him that he could use fucking alchemy. All he could tell was that Envy was on him in an instant, protecting him.

After a while, the shooting stopped. Envy began regenerating himself as the gang reloaded their weapons. Tin can is basically invincible against bullets… Envy thought before picking up Ed and dumping him inside of Al. 

“What the hell are you doing, Envy?!” Ed cried out.

“Stay put you fucking stupid ass fucking shorty!” Envy yelled out, and the shooting began again.

Many people were taken aback that Envy wasn't dying immediately from all the bullets. The homunculus was advancing on the crowd, a look of pure rage on his face. 

Once the sin reached part of the circle of people, he changed his arm into a blade, and the massacre began.

No one in the gang stood a chance against Envy. The enraged homunculus could vaguely hear Ed and Al yelling at him to calm the fuck down, but he couldn't care less. These fucking guys were trying to fuck with his fucking plan by fucking shooting at Father’s fucking sacrifices. 

After every last member in the ring was killed, Envy stalked up to Ed and Al. He dragged Ed’s shocked body out of all and gave one simple command: “Move”. Ed was so shaken that he only dumbly nodded along and moved. Al’s body was mildly dented from taking so many bullets, but he was mostly alright. 

Until one more shot rang out.

Envy and Ed turned around in shock to see a child, who couldn't have been older than 8, holding a shotgun. The bullet was fast enough to pierce through Al’s armor. And that little kid got a lucky ass shot.

Envy’s eyes widened as Al collapsed to the ground. The kid had managed to not only get through the armor in the first place, but graze Al’s seal. His rage was sparked again, and he stomped up to the child, brutally murdering her. A mere human child of all things just killed one of the sacrifices?!

Ed was still standing in shock after what happened. Al couldn't have died… could he? He was trembling at the idea. There was no way that could happen! Their journey wasn't over yet!

The alchemist was taken out of his trance by a slap from Envy. 

“You fucking moron! Try to fix his armor! The bullet barely hit his seal, he could still fucking live!”

Ed scrambled to obey Envy, praying to a God that he didn't even believe in for this to work. Envy was doing a similar thing, but for a very different reason. Goddammit, I may actually die if that fucking tin can isn't revived!

After what felt like an hour of attempted transmutation and praying, Ed slumped to the ground. “It’s no use,” the alchemist said, almost inaudibly. He rested his head against the cool metal of what used to be Al, shaking. 

“Then get the fuck up. There may be more of them here, and there's no use in you dying too.” Envy said emotionlessly. Ed glanced up, and the look on his face made Envy feel something… an emotion that was completely foreign to him. 

Concern? Pity? Empathy? No fucking way. A homunculus such as Envy could never stoop so low as to feel those weak human emotions. But… some of his anger dissipated… which meant something, right?

“We need to go.” Envy said, quietly. Ed didn't react to the uncharacteristic tone of the homunculus. In fact, he reacted to nothing. He sat next to Al, expressionlessly.

Envy’s hard violet eyes softened and he walked up to Ed. He tried waving his hand in front of Ed’s eyes and slapping him gently. After getting no response, he bent down and picked up the small blond bridal style.

“No. Let me stay with Al.” Ed murmured as Envy began walking away.

Looking down at the teen, almost surprised that he spoke, Envy said softly, “That’s not your brother anymore; it's just an empty suit of armor.”

Ed started shaking once again, and covered his eyes with his arm. The sin could very obviously tell that the alchemist was crying. Normally he would have taken glee in that fact: seeing his blond enemy broken. But now he just felt… empty. 

“Give him back…” Ed whispered shakily. Envy didn't respond. He genuinely had no idea what to say.

As the duo was moving out of the town, several more shots rang out. The only evidence any more damage was done was when Envy felt the thick liquid of blood on his hands. The alchemist didn't respond to the shot at all. Cursing, the sin began to run out of the city, managing to protect Ed from any more harm. 

Thus, the homunculus continued to run until they reached the next city over: Fius.


	5. why the fuck am i still updating this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and why the fuck is anyone unironically reading this

Envy managed to secure a nice room in another hotel using Ed’s silver pocket watch. Sometime while Envy was walking, Ed had fallen asleep. So, once the green haired sin entered the room, he gently set Ed down on the queen sized bed. 

The sin used his little medical knowledge to remove the bullet and clean out the wound on Ed’s flesh arm. As Envy was doing this, the blond stared blankly at the ceiling.

The homunculus, once he was finished, sat down at a table and… waited. For what, he didn't know. But he still continued to wait.

During this time, at least he was able to think.

I sacrificed a shit ton of my lives protecting the pipsqueak. But why?

\---

Roy Mustang sat at his desk with his head resting on his hands. In front of him was three of his trusty subordinates: Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, and Heymans Breda. His other men had been relieved of duty for the day.

“As you know, we have been unable to contact the Elric Brothers ever since they left for Erhejafnu about a month ago. There have been several reported sightings of them in the West and South. I would like you three to go investigate, and see if they are in any danger. If so, I expect you to give them your aid. If not, they will be severely punished for intentionally ignoring their superior officer, upon their return. Understood?”

The subordinates saluted the Colonel, and in sync, said, “Sir, yes, sir!” They then exited the room and left on the first train to investigate the town of Erhejafnu. 

\---

A few mornings later, Envy looked up to see Ed sitting up, wrapped in a blanket. He was staring blindly ahead and hardly moved. If the situation were any different, Envy would have found it cute how bundled up the small alchemist was. But Envy had seen the same sight for days, and the initial effect was gone.

After waiting for so long and seeing no movement on Ed’s part, Envy finally got impatient. He stalked up to the bed that the blond was on and slammed his hands down on it. Ed only blinked slowly.

“Shrimp, you're being a fucking prick. Are you just going to stay here doing nothing for the rest of your damned life?! Aren't you supposed to be the cliché hero, always coming to the rescue at the perfect time? You aren't meant to be so fucking emo!” Envy yelled out, getting closer to the blond after every sentence.

By the time he was finished, the two were nose-to-nose. Ed stared Envy straight in the eye, but still didn't move at all.

Envy backed away. “Goddammit, you're so hopeless! Fucking humans letting their feelings get in their way! You know, this is fucking up my plans as well! We do sort of need your tiny bit of cooperation in order to fuck you all over!” 

With this, Envy changed out of his usual form and stomped outside the hotel into the busy streets of Fius.

\---

Envy walked around Fius aimlessly with his hands angrily shoved deep into his pockets. Little bastard. He's so fucking selfish. Who cares if one more puny human is dead. I mean, that piece of scrap metal was hardly human to begin with. What's the big deal?!

One rather unlucky customer failed to get out of the enraged sin’s way on the street. The unsuspecting man’s eyes showed pure fear as the homunculus grabbed him by the collar and lifted him until the two were at the same level.

“What's the big deal, huh? Can't even move a foot over?” The poor man was pleading for his life once Envy was done speaking.

“Sir, if you do not unhand that man, we will be forced to take physical action,”

Envy looked over his shoulder to see a blond woman in a military uniform pointing a gun at him. The sin let out an angry sigh and dropped his almost victim.

“Happy now?”

The military officer nodded and lowered her weapon. Envy was about to start walking away when he heard a “Stop” from the woman.

“What do you want? I'm not in the greatest of moods, bitch.” Envy nearly yelled out.

“I would just like to ask you a few questions.” The sin raised an eyebrow. “We have heard reports of a short, blond child coming to this general area. He generally wears a red coat and black pants. Have you seen this person around?”

Envy held back a string of curses. The military’s looking for that flea? Dammit, what did he do this time?

“Nah, haven't seen him. But I've heard of him. Youngest State Alchemist, right?” The homunculus started, trying to get off the topic of Ed’s location.

“Correct. Do you know where he might be?”

“Uhh, I heard he’s headed towards Ermutixso or something.” They better get caught in that same trap and get off our damn tails.

“I see. Thank you for your time.” The blond officer walked away, with two more soldiers following after her.

Fuck. I need to get out of here. With the beansprout. If he goes back to the military, then my chances of locking him up for Father will fall way too low. I'd rather not lose any more of my lives over him.

\---

Once the town began to get darker, Envy decided to go back to the hotel. He had cooled down a bit, and now didn't feel like socking Ed in the face as much.

Come to think of it… that kid hasn't eaten in like two days. I keep forgetting that those lowly humans need food to live. Better not let him die too soon.

So, the sin decided to stop by a random shop and grab food that didn't look contaminated.

Envy finally returned to the hotel, changed back to his preferred form, and saw that Ed appeared to have hardly moved throughout the day. Stubborn bastard.

“Hey, Pipsqueak. I got some nourishment for you,”

Ed glanced in Envy’s direction, which was a drastic improvement from the last few days. The homunculus set the box of food down in front of Ed, watching in mild relief as the alchemist began eating without a fight.

Wait, relief? Why should I care what happens to that mini prick? 

Well… maybe I could try getting some words out of him. I'm bored anyway.

“Hey, runt.” No response.

“Beansprout.”

“Midget,”

“Flea,”

“Runty little bitch ass microscopic half pint,”

The blond hardly twitched at all of the remarks about his height.

“Daaamn, something’s really wrong with you, Alchemist. You're no fun anymore. Get over yourseeelf~”

To Envy’s surprise, Ed was looking at him with an unreadable look on his face.

“What do you want, ant?”

“You didn't call me short,”

The homunculus’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise. “He speaks! Now stop being a depressed bitch and let’s get moving!”

But then, once again, Ed became silent.

Envy nearly exploded in anger. He jumped up onto the bed and crouched right in front of Ed’s emotionless face. 

“You fucking got my hopes up, midget. How long are you going to act like this?! How long can you even stand not being a smartass bastard?! I don't even understand why you're so fucking depressed! Your bitchy little ‘brother’ was hardly human to begin with! What're you so pissed about?!” At the end of his little rant, Envy was fuming.

Almost as soon as Envy was finished talking, the alchemist punched him right in the face.

“AL WAS HUMAN! HE HAD A BODY WAITING FOR HIM AND A SOUL, UNLIKE YOU!” The blond looked as if he was on the brink of tears.

Envy gritted his teeth in anger before shoving Ed into the headboard, pinning him there. “You need more than just a useless soul to be human. You need the body and mind as well. But, even so, that soul is only weakening humans, which is why they are so insignificant,” the homunculus said in an eerily calm voice.

“But he was alive… he had the body… in the Gate…” Ed looked away from Envy’s irritated stare quickly.

“It'll be easier for you if you just fucking accept that he wasn't human to begin with. Then you never had to witness his true death at that point. Get yourself together, Pipsqueak.”

The alchemist didn't respond after that, only beginning to tremble under Envy’s grip. Envy almost wanted to hug the blond; he was in a perfect position to do so.

No, what the hell? Are his insignificant human emotions rubbing off on me? Damn.

Envy settled for staring deep into Ed’s averted eyes. He seemed like he was searching for something in them, but for what, he didn't know.

Since the homunculus was so utterly absorbed in the alchemist’s amber orbs, his subconscious decided to take over. 

Envy felt himself moving closer to Ed. He usually would have stopped himself, but felt no desire to do so. Maybe he really should succumb to those swirling emotions?

When Ed felt Envy begin to move, he almost panicked. What was he about to do? There was no way he could predict the insane homunculus’s actions.

And there was no way he could have guessed that the sin would, gently, bring their lips together.

Envy felt the alchemist freeze up at the physical contact. This was almost enough to snap him out of his trance, but not quite. He slowly began moving his lips against Ed’s, waiting for… a response?

The blond fairly quickly recovered from the initial shock. He really couldn't say it was bad… but he still didn't especially want to get into it. However, his body betrayed him and got other ideas. 

Soon enough, Envy’s desired response came. Ed was hesitantly moving his lips against the sin’s. Which only pushed Envy to deepen the kiss. 

Ed had completely lost himself in the contact when he felt Envy, oh so gently, cup his face with one hand. The touch was almost… comforting… but in the back of his mind, he knew that wasn't possible. Homunculi didn't have feelings, did they?

Envy was about to silently ask the blond under him for entrance when he was startled out of his trance by a loud noise and, soon after, a searing pain in his shoulder.

He immediately jumped off the bed in surprise and was met by three military soldiers pointing guns at him. One of them looked strangely familiar… the one who was looking for Ed?

Shit! I thought I mislead her enough! Why the hell isn't she dead?!


	6. jesus i dont even want to know what happens this chapter thank god i forgot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please stop reading this

What the hell was that?! What was that guy doing to Edward?! Wait… is he… a homunculus? Hawkeye thought, seeing the red sparks fly from Envy’s shoulder wound.

“You two, don't let your guard down, and do not let anyone out of this room until I have answers!” She barked the orders to Havoc and Breda. They nodded in response.

Simultaneously at the same time, Hawkeye ran up to the still-stunned Ed, and Havoc and Breda moved cautiously up to Envy with their guns ready to shoot.

“Edward, what happened to your arm? Where's Alphonse?” Hawkeye asked gently. She was immediately concerned when Ed finally snapped out of his trance and his expression darkened.

“He's… not…” The alchemist couldn't bring himself to finish the statement.

“The tin can’s dead.” Envy interrupted. He immediately had all the weapons in the room pointed at him. He raised his arms in the air. “Woah, woah, it wasn't me. This time.” 

I can't keep using up my philosopher’s stone too much. It's already pretty diminished after that fucking gun city. I can't let them see my real form… better not get shot up again uselessly.

“And how can we trust your word, homunculus?” Hawkeye asked.

“Hmm? Are you looking down on me human? I heard mockery in your tone?” Envy’s cocky statement was met with a bullet to the head. “OW, DAMMIT! Calm down, okay?!”

“Answer me! How can I trust your word?!”

“It… it was my fault, Lieutenant,” Ed said, barely above a whisper.

Hawkeye whipped around to stare at the blond in disbelief. “...What happened?”

Ed looked away, reluctant to have to recite what went down out loud.

“We went to some city with a gang or some shit and one of ‘em got lucky and shot Scrapmetal in his seal. Shorty over there managed to get himself shot too. Happy?” Envy butted in again. 

...Why do I keep butting into the conversation like this?

Hawkeye looked between Envy and Ed. “Is this true?” She asked the alchemist. He simply nodded.

There was a long, drawn out silence before Havoc asked, “Wait, homunculus, what do you mean ‘we’?”

Fuck. “Oh, you know, I was just trying to keep ‘em from dying too much. So I was there too. I fucking failed though.”

The Second Lieutenant looked skeptical, but let it slide. 

“So, Lieutenant Hawkeye, what do we do with this guy?” Breda asked, nudging Envy with his pistol. Which caused Envy to get mildly pissed off. He managed to settle for gritting his teeth in anger instead of lashing out, however.

“Hmm… I suppose we should take him into custody. We could interrogate him about the homunculi’s plans.”

“Nah, I’d rather not. Now that I think of it, I have somewhere to be right about now, so just let me go.” Gotta get my stone revamped by Father real quick before I can keep following Fullmetal Pipsqueak.

The sin began to stand up, but hesitated when the three soldiers cocked their guns at once. “Come oooonnnn… I'm not even bothering you for once!” Envy complained.

“You will be a nuisance in the future. So, you're coming with us.” Hawkeye said, leaving no room for debate.

I ain't lettin’ that military scum get me. I could probably escape right now, even if that is fucking cowardly… I better have enough power to not become that ugly ass creature.

“Mmm… but I don't wanna,” Envy said, immediately jumping up and ran for the window. The soldiers cursed and shot at him before he could break the glass, but he managed to make his escape anyway.

Mustang’s men stood in an angry silence for a while before Breda spoke. “Well, we didn't necessarily fail our mission. We got Ed back and all. So let's return to Central already.”

No one had the energy to complain, so they got ready to leave.

“Edward, can you get up for me? We'll get you to a nicer place in Central soon.” Hawkeye asked Ed kindly.

Ed continued to avoid eye contact. Is there even a point for me to go back to the military any more? Al? But, he didn't have the energy to make things difficult. He was too emotionally drained. So, the blond let out a small “okay” before moving off the bed for the first time in days.

Hawkeye nodded in approval and, once Ed collected all of his belongings, led the small group out of the building and towards the train station. Civilians littered the sidewalks, curious as to why there was a shit ton of gunshots coming from a five star hotel.

\---

Envy was completely and utterly pissed. He just barely made it away from those military bastards, and now he had to go back to Central.

Fuck… don't really wanna face Father right about now. Lust’s probably told him that I was gonna catch Beansprout and Scrapmetal… but that sure as hell didn't happen. He'll be pissed. I didn't really meet his expectations...

The homunculus transformed into a more normal looking man before walking to the train station. There was no way he was about to run from basically South City to Central.

At least the ride was relatively calm…

\---

Envy made his way down the dim passageway towards where Father resided.

Please don't be pissed… please don't be pissed…

He hesitantly entered the room and was met with a glance from Father. There was a long pause before, 

“Oh, hello Envy! I heard you were busy capturing the Elrics. How has it been going?”

“Well… uhh… I'm back because I sort of got shot… a lot… so I need my stone to be powered up or whatever…” Envy stuttered out.

“Is that all?” Father asked before walking up to the homunculus and resting his hand on Envy’s head. There was a bright red flash, and Envy could vaguely tell that he was revamped.

“So, what about the Elrics?” 

“Ummm… The tin can sorta… died… and I think the blondie’s back in the military… so yeah…”

“Hmm? And how did this all happen?”

“I was following them around to wait for a good time to snatch ‘em and go. But Fullmetal wanted to go to this gang town or whatever and Scrapmetal got shot… then the military came in and I got the fuck outta there since my stone was about dead… so Fullmetal’s probably back with ‘em now…” Envy said, rushing his words to get it over with.

Father seemed to be studying Envy closely for a while, worsening the homunculus’s stress. “Mmm… I'll let you try again. We have other sacrifice candidates… but do not let Edward die. Then I’ll be forced to take… action… upon you.”

“...yeah thanks…” Envy said quickly before speed walking out of the chamber.

\---

Ed was staring into space. Hawkeye, Havoc, and Breda had led him onto a train to Central. He vaguely remembered them telling them the reason why they had come to take him back, but couldn't bring himself to care.

The alchemist found himself thinking about everything that happened in the past week. He did think hard about what happened to Al and how it could have been stopped… but a more recent event seemed to somehow be of more interest to his cerebrum…

What the hell was Envy thinking? He… kissed me?! Aren't they not supposed to have any emotion but hate? What the fuck even happened..?

While Ed continued to try and figure out what went down only a few hours ago, the train rolled to a stop. He was only brought out of his trance when he felt a hand on his thigh. Hawkeye was motioning for him to follow, and he didn't have the energy to complain.

Ed knew for certain what he was going to be subjected to next.

\---

“Yo, Fullmetal. What's poppin’? And why the fuck haven't you been reporting in?!”

Roy Mustang always wanted to get straight to the point.

Hawkeye had left Ed alone in the room with Mustang. The blond didn't know why, but he guessed that she secretly had some grudge against him. Why else would she subject him to such a cocky fucking Colonel?

In response to Mustang’s question, Ed looked away and shuffled towards the seats in the Colonel’s office. He sat down sloppily and stayed silent.

He heard an angry sigh after Mustang realized that the blond alchemist wasn't about to talk. Ed’s superior officer actually moved away from his desk for once and came to sit down across from Ed.

“What happened there? All that the Lieutenant has told me is that you're a little hurt and that a homunculus was there with you. She wants you to fill in the gaps,” 

Again, Ed avoided eye contact and refused to speak. 

Sighing again, Mustang said, “Alright, let's start with something easier. Why was that homunculus in a room with you?” The Colonel could have sworn he saw the slightest hint of a blush on Ed’s face. And, to his relief, the short alchemist actually began to talk.

“We fought at that western city… and apparently he took my silver pocket watch. Then he found me later and threatened to destroy it unless I let him stalk me. So I let him. That's why he was there.”

“Did you ever get your watch back at least?” Mustang inquired.

There was a short period of silence before “Fuck™”

“I'm guessing not. Well, how about… how'd you get injured?” The Colonel asked next.

“...I went to some...gang town… to try and get everyone to chill out. And I got shot. That's it.” Ed seemed to be glancing around a bit too much, so Mustang knew that he wasn't telling him the whole truth.

“Alright. So you weren't communicating because..?”

“I couldn't do it with Envy there. Plus I got wrecked.”

“Mmm… okay then. And, lastly… where’s Alphonse?”

Ed tensed up significantly after Mustang said that, covering his face with his hands. 

Is he… crying? What the hell went down over there?

“Edward. Speak. This is an order.”

“I… he got… ‘m sorry…” Ed mumbled out almost incomprehensibly.

“It helps nothing if I don't know what you're saying.”

Ed gritted his teeth in irritation at Mustang’s nosiness, and kept quiet. He didn't deserve to know.

Another sigh. “Edward, nothing's going to get better if you don't talk to anyone. I need to know the situation completely in order to help you. I can already tell it's nothing good; would you rather me make my own assumptions, or would you rather tell me yourself? Be mature and stop avoiding what's already happened!”

Ed froze up after hearing Mustang’s little rant. The superior officer was pretty much correct… as much as Ed hated to admit it. 

“He was shot… in his seal…” Ed said simply.

Now it was Mustang’s turn to stay quiet for a bit. 

“Ah… I see… I'm sorry…” Mustang stuttered out.

After a longer period of silence, the Colonel spoke up. 

“I'll let you take whatever time you need to cope with this. All I ask is that you do not try anything stupid like human transmutation like you did all those years ago. Do you agree?”

“Yeah… thanks… I won't be too dumb this time…” With that, Ed walked out of the Colonel’s office and towards the military dorms.


	7. please can we stop already

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuck i forgot but thor_94 what are you doing back here im dead you egged me on back at ff.net fuck.

Envy was wandering around Central in a more regular form, only somewhat aimlessly. Pipsqueak’s got to be around here somewhere. I need to actually not fuck up this time if I'm about to not get completely wrecked.

After a few hours of looking, he found the alchemist he wanted. Envy walked up to Ed and casually put his arm on the alchemist’s head.

Ed glared darkly and said, “Envy, is that you?”

“Yes sirree, you are correct.” The homunculus said sarcastically.

“Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood.”

“Are you ever in the mood?”

“Just please fuck off.”

“No can do.”

“Can you at least give me my fucking watch back?”

“Mmm… I have an idea. Let's take this conversation to a more… private… place.” Envy left no room for discussion, dragging Ed into a nearby, empty alleyway.

The sin casually rested against the wall, waiting for the alchemist to speak. It only took a few moments before

“What do you want with me?”

“You know that you're a precious sacrifice, right? That's what.” Or that my body has a sudden urge to be near you…

Ed groaned in frustration. “How long are you going to keep following me around?”

“However long I need to.”

There was a long time of silence, Ed too pissed to keep a conversation, and Envy uncertain of what to say next. Eventually, the sin thought something up.

“Is the military still forcing you to work for them? I'm assuming you had to tell them what happened,”

“No. The Colonel gave me a little bit of leave.”

“Where are you going to be staying?”

“The dorms I guess. What's up with all these questions?”

“Hmm… I have an idea. You probably would prefer to be mostly alone, right?” After Envy received a hesitant nod, he continued. “Well, I know a really secluded place just outside of Central. There's an old house there that you could stay in.” And there, we'll be completely alone…

Ed took a moment to think before sighing in resignation. “Fine… I'll go to your stupid hut place…”

Envy smirked before leading the way with a grumpy Ed following.

\---

“And here… we are!” Envy said, a little bit too excitedly, as the duo make it past one last area of dense bushes.

“...Wow. I’ve gotta admit… this place isn't half bad.”

‘This place’ was a clearing in the forest surrounding Central. Off to the side was a small, brown house, which wasn't exactly ramshackle, but hadn't been renovated in a while. There were little patches of flowers around the area. But, in the center of the clearing, was a beautiful and clear mini lake.

Envy smirked in satisfaction. “So, not all of my ideas are shit?”

“Fiiine… only this one was mediocre at best.”

“Hey, better than nothing.”

The two first walked towards the house, letting themselves in. “No one’s lived here for a while, so don't worry about getting sued.”

Ed didn't say anything, taking the time to look around the surprisingly spacious house. 

“Well, you can do whatever for a while. But only for this while. I just want to get reacquainted with this place for a bit,”

Ed only nodded in response, and the two split up to explore the beautiful clearing.

\---

After a few hours, as the sun was setting, Envy found Ed sitting by the small lake with his head on his knees.

This is my chance to get near him. Envy thought menacingly.

The sin walked as quietly as possible before he was right behind the alchemist. Then, he suddenly plopped down, and simultaneously dragged Ed into his lap.

“Wh-what the fuck are you doing?!” Ed yelled out in shock. 

“Just enjoying the sights,” said the sardonic Envy.

“Why the actual FUCK am I this close to you then?!”

Because, I don't know why, but I have a sudden urge to be as close to you as possible. “Because… I don't know. It's comfortable.”

“Not for me it's not!”

“Shhh… just let it happen.”

Ed growled in anger and tried to struggle out of Envy’s grip, but to no avail. Eventually, he stopped trying and did just let it happen.

Envy rested his chin on top of Ed's head, watching the sunset.

“Are you trying to accentuate my shortness?” Ed said in irritation.

“Mayyybe… but this is also a nice position.” 

“Stop making me seem shoooort,” Ed complained.

“But I wouldn't want to make you seem like you're something you're not.”

“What's that supposed to mean?!”

“You're fucking tiny, Midget.”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO SMALL HE NEVER GETS CALLED ON IN CLASS BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS BIGGER THAN HIM AND WHEN THEY RAISE THEIR HANDS NO ONE CAN SEE HIM BECAUSE HE'S TOO SMALL?!” Ed yelled out.

“Hmm? I didn't quite get that, sorry shrimp.”

“ARE YOU CALLING ME A SHRIMP SO SMALL YOU COULDN'T HEAR ME BECAUSE I'M SO MICROSCOPIC AND MY VOCAL CORDS ARE EVEN SMALLER?!”

After this, Envy couldn't take it anymore, and broke out in laughter. Once he calmed down a bit, he said, 

“How the hell do you even think of those?! Honestly, do you just go into improvisation mode every time someone calls you short?!”

“Sh-shut up! I just… say whatever I gotta! Yeah.”

“You're adorable, Midget.”

Envy was expecting another short rant, but then realized what he said. And realized that that's why he could feel Ed’s face heat up.

Fuuuck… I said it outloud… again...

There was an insanely awkward silence as the two tried to focus their attentions on other things, and failed.

Envy knew that they weren't going to be able to change the topic easily. So, in an effort to make at least something happen, he let his body take over. Bad idea. Like it was last time.

The homunculus slowly turned the alchemist in his lap until the two were facing each other. Even in the diminishing light, Envy could tell that Ed was blushing. But he wasn't about to stop now, so the sin let his eyes close, and brought their lips together.

This time, there was little hesitation before Ed began to kiss back. The blond placed his hand on the back of the sin’s head, pushing them closer. It wasn't long before Envy lightly bit down on Ed’s bottom lip, requesting entry. And entry he was granted.

Envy quickly took the dominant role, not letting Ed do too much. The sin’s tongue explored the alchemist's mouth heatedly, while the alchemist simply tried to keep up. 

Soon enough, the two were taking turns bringing the other’s tongue into their mouth on purpose, sucking on the other. This caused any sanity left in Envy to disappear, and he quickly began to crush Ed's mouth, wanting to get impossibly closer to the blond. In response, the alchemist moaned quietly, letting the sin ravage his mouth.

But then, Envy remembered breathing was a thing, so he reluctantly pulled away a bit. But not too far, so the two were breathing in each other's air roughly. Once they caught their breath, it was actually Ed who brought their lips together again.

Envy groaned in satisfaction and finally let Ed explore his wet cavern. He soon enough got impatient, however, and immediately began pushing Ed's tongue against his own, trying to get any contact that they could possibly get. The blond acquiesced, mostly letting the sin do whatever he wanted to his mouth.

Eventually, Envy pulled away with a small popping sound and rested his forehead against Ed’s.

Breathlessly, the homunculus said, “Y’know… you're not too bad at this…” I wonder what else you're good at...

Ed responded with a quiet “...mmm…” and completely relaxed into Envy’s arms. He readjusted his head to be in the crook of Envy’s neck, sighing in satisfaction. The two stayed in this position for a while, simply enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.

But, Ed actually needed sleep, so Envy said, “Let's go into the house… it'll be better to rest in there instead.”

“Okayyy…” Ed said reluctantly, getting off the sin’s legs and walking slowly back to the house. Envy stood up as well before taking the lead.

Soon enough, Ed was bundled up in the bed with Envy beside him.

“I thought you homunculi couldn't sleep..?” The alchemist said tiredly, not quite wanting their contact to end.

“Well… we can, but don't really need to. Now shut up…”

Ed finally realized that he was too out of it to continue talking, and succumbed to sleep, Envy following after shortly.


	8. oh no we have another commenter why didnt you escape when you had the chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if any of yall have unironically read up to this point and youre an entire ass adult , that's sus as hell im getting the fbi on your ass smh man this shits tagged and everything

Ed slowly opened his eyes, only to see a pale chest in front of him. Wha… he began to think before he jolted awake and began blushing profusely. Did I really just do that… it's not even going that far… but with Envy?!

The alchemist's sudden tenseness seemed to arouse the homunculus, who only pulled Ed closer. “...few more minutes…” the sin mumbled out into Ed’s hair.

But Ed, in all of his flustered glory, was not about to give Envy a few more minutes. He squirmed out of the homunculus's grasp and said hurriedly, “I'm just gonna go catch some fish or something for breakfast bye.”

Envy groaned out something incomprehensible, so Ed took it as a cue to get the hell away and go do his fishing.

\---

Soon enough, the homunculus actually woke up. Damn. Haven't slept like that… in months… since I never really sleep…

Envy stretched and got out of bed. He vaguely remembered Ed saying something about breakfast… and decided to leave him be. Hah, he must be amazingly embarrassed after realizing what we did… and it was only a kiss.

The sin slowly wandered around the house, enjoying the slow atmosphere of the morning and losing himself in his thoughts.

Come to think of it… I'm supposed to be locking little Midget up. Like actually doing it. But… I don't really wanna anymore…

As a Sacrifice, he's likely to die in the process. And now I've found that that's the last thing I want. Don't know why, but it is… But I'll get severely wrecked if I don't fucking catch him…

Envy groaned in frustration at the situation. 

I don't know if he's just got that teenage horniness or if he's actually got a thing for me… so wanting to romantically run away into the sunset won't be an option. Either way though, I’ve got to stay near him. Once the military and or the homunculi find us, we're both a little fucked.

I need to keep him safe…

Envy was surprising himself with his sudden urge to protect Ed. He never thought that he had the capability to feel that way… yet something about Ed changed that belief drastically.

The homunculus sighed softly to himself in his mild anguish. 

Well… might as well go warn him that we're gonna get wrecked pretty soon.

\---

When Envy walked out of the house, he saw Ed sitting by a fire, waiting for two fish to cook. The sin put on his signature smirk to hide his internal conflict for a bit.

“Heyyy, Fullmetal Pipsqueak… How’ve you been this morning?” He said in a somewhat suggestive and way-too-nice tone.

The shrimp’s face immediate turned a bright shade of crimson. “N-Nothing much, what about you?”

Envy stood still in confusion for a moment before having to resist the urge to chuckle. “I… I didn't ask what you’ve been doing, little bastard.”

Somehow, Ed’s blush deepened, and he began eating one of the fish to distract himself. “Shut up, dickhead,” he muttered out, just loud enough for the sin to hear it.

Envy's smirk fell as he walked closer to the blond. Now he actually had to be serious… and that was never his favorite thing to do.

“Hey, Midget. You… you do know that we're gonna be traced here soon enough, right?” The homunculus said, lying down and staring at the sky.

Ed swallowed before saying, “What do you mean?”

“Like… either the homunculi will come after me… or the military will come after you. Neither of ‘em will let us stay away for too long.”

“Oh… Wait, why would the homunculi wanna come after you?”

“Uhh… well Lust sort of gave me a job to capture you… and now Father expects me to do that. Since I'm not, he'll probably want to see why not…” 

“Wait, you’re supposed to kidnap me?! What the hell?!” Ed began to stand up in shock.

Envy waved his hand for the blond to sit down. “And isn't it pretty obvious that I don't really want to do that?”

“Oh… well yeah I guess… Thanks for telling me about this though. Guess I never really thought about it.”

The two sat in a pretty uncomfortable silence before Envy got a miraculous idea to save the mood.

The homunculus stood up, stretched a bit, and walked behind Ed. But he wasn't going for another kiss, oh no. He say down a little behind the blond and immediately went for Ed’s dick.

The alchemist tensed up in surprise as the homunculus began kneading that… area. “Wh-What the fuck?!”

“Hmm? Does it not feel good, Al-che-mist?” Envy said in a singsong voice.

And, damn, Ed couldn't really deny that the friction was pretty nice. The homunculus took the lack of response as a cue to keep going, so he pushed Ed onto his back, continuing his hand motion.

Envy used his free hand to slowly snake around Ed, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it off gently. The alchemist was slowly getting more into it, and let it happen.

Before Envy was able to finish undressing Ed, however, the blond began grinding against the homunculus. Damn, didn't expect him to make a move… not like I'm disappointed. 

The sin groaned in approval before completely the task of getting Ed naked. The blond blushed even more as soon as his cock was in the open air, but Envy gave him no time to think. He immediately went down and began bobbing his head around Ed’s ‘head’.

“Ahh.. fuck, Envy!” Ed moaned out.

The sin hummed around the alchemist's member in response, causing the latter to grip the former’s hair in bliss. 

Envy was slowly making his way down Ed’s shaft, hollowing his cheeks at random intervals. Each time, Ed moaned out loudly in pleasure.

“F-Fuck, Envy, do you...nnn… even have a gag…” A particularly harsh suck stopped Ed’s speaking.

In response, Envy immediately thrust down to Ed’s base, before coming back up and repeating the motion.

“I-I can't…” Ed moaned out.

The homunculus smirked to himself before pulling off completely with a small pop. “Wh-What?” Ed complained, pouting slightly. Envy continued his pleasuring, only this time he was moving his hand down the member.

“Hmm? What's the matter..?” Envy purred into the blond’s ear.

“I-I'm gonna…” Ed gritted out, before gasping as he felt a finger playing with his tip.

“And… is that an issue? I could always make you… beg for it…”

The alchemist's eyes widened. “N-No… please…” he moaned.

“Mmm… fine. I'll have mercy on you… for now…” Envy gave Ed a few more strokes before the blond cried out in bliss, spilling his cum over the two’s chests.

The alchemist took a few moments to breathe before looking up at Envy’s smirking face. “Don't… you want me to do the same..?” He breathed out after the homunculus made no more moves.

“Nah… but this means that you'll be in my debt…” Envy said before leaving the scene. 

Next time… it'll get even more fun...

Ed's jaw dropped slightly in surprise, and he quickly regained his clothes and finished that second fish.

\---

The two were granted a few more days of peace, by what Envy expected to be some miracle. Ever since that conversation with Ed about how they were basically fucked, his anxiety continuously grew.

Why the hell haven't they shown up yet?!

Ed took notice of this, and put in at least some effort to lighten the mood. 

“Envyyy… what's your favorite… color?” He asked one time. Ed didn't really know what else to ask that didn't have to do with murder… since that seemed to be Envy’s favorite passtime.

“Chartreuse. Why?”

“What the fuck is chartreuse?”

“Like yellowish green. But why though?” 

“I just like knowing random facts. Y’know.”

The mildly salty Envy didn't say anything.

Or…

“Why do you hate people so much?” Yeah, great topic Ed. Hatred is a nice emotion.

“Hmm? Because they're puny and insignificant. No offense.”

“Yes offense. But why does that make you haaate them?”

“Because why not? I can't very easily hate homunculi, so humans are the next best thing.”

“So it's just an excuse to be mad at something?”

“...”

These short conversations didn't do anything to slow down their imminent, however. So, too soon, the two were just chilling by the lake, when they saw a figure emerge from the forest.

“Fucking hell.” Envy said angrily as the figure very obviously turned out to be King Bradley.

“It's the homunculi and the military. At once.”

“Hello, Fullmetal Alchemist and Envy. I'm going to have to ask you two to come with me.”

“Don't really wanna. Sorry, Wrath.” Envy said.

“That's unfortunate for you.” Wrath said before drawing two swords and charging at Envy.

The green haired homunculus immediately changed one of his arms into a blade, blocking and returning the blows. Ed transmuted his automail arm to be sharp, and was about to run in and help, but realized he couldn't move. 

“What the…” he started, looking down at himself and only seeing black.

“I apologize. We cannot have you getting very wounded, however. Bear with me,” 

Ed whipped his head around to see a child speaking to him. “Who the hell are you?! Let me go!” He yelled

“My name is Pride.”

Ed gritted his teeths and continued to struggle pointlessly against the shadows holding him hostage.

Meanwhile, Envy was having a hard time against Wrath. His mind tricks from transforming only really worked on humans, so he was stuck using his actual fighting skills. Which Wrath had a lot more of.

But he's still more mortal than a regular homunculus. As long as I can stab his vitals, he'll stop being so fucking strong!

Envy jumped back, trying to think of a strategy. Maybe…

The green sin transformed himself into Mrs. Bradley, however still retaining his blade arm. This is the only mind trick that could possibly work on him…

But, Envy had gotten his hopes up too high. Wrath stabbed him mercilessly in the shoulder and arm with both of his swords.

“Did you really believe that your little game would work on me?” Wrath asked emotionlessly as he drew out two more weapons.

“Thought it was worth a try.” Envy said, smirking before he fell to the ground. Wrath took this opportunity to stab two more swords into Envy’s other shoulder.

“The fuck?!” The green haired homunculus cried out before realizing what had happened. He saw the small form in the distance and growled out, “Pride… so the homunculi did beat the military here,”

“Only somewhat. Wrath is here on behalf of the humans, after all.” Pride said in monotone.

“Now, Edward Elric. Come with me willingly and I won't have the need to cause either of you any more harm.” Wrath said.

“No way in hell I’m following you!” Ed yelled out before managing to clap his hands together and transmute a rock hand to free himself. Through his struggling, he had managed to inch his arms closer together until it was possible to transmute.

The alchemist managed to catch the homunculi by surprise, and was able to get a single, long slash on Wrath’s abdomen. He wasn't able to do any more damage, though. Ed’s eyes widened as he coughed up blood. 

“I guess we cannot help but harm you a little, after all.” Pride said, withdrawing his sharp shadow from Ed’s stomach. The blond collapsed to the ground, blood pooling around his body.

“You bastard! I thought that Father didn't want him to be hurt!” Envy screamed out, attempting to get up and get to Ed. 

“Are you sure you're asking that in Father’s interest, or your own?” Wrath asked, picking up the motionless form of Ed.

“Get off him…” Envy yelled brokenly, before he was lifted by Pride’s shadows.

“Wrath, take Edward Elric to be treated and keep a watch on him. I will bring Envy to be dealt with by Father.” Pride said.

Wrath nodded in response, and the two homunculi went their separate ways.


	9. please people are still consuming this i could cry im so pissed

Ed hazily opened his eyes. He was hardly aware of anything except a searing pain in his abdomen.

What the hell… happened..?

The alchemist looked around the room, half hoping to see Al… or Envy… waiting for him to get better. He was severely disappointed to see Wrath sitting next to him instead.

“Good morning, Edward Elric. Now, let's get straight to the business.” Wrath said, resting his head on his hand.

“What the hell do you want?” Ed gritted out, his throat feeling scratchy from being used.

“Well… it appears you know my secret. And that just cannot do. So, here is my idea.” Ed couldn't help but feel anxious as the Fuhrer inched closer to him. “Do not mention anything that happened. Do not tell anyone about Envy, Pride, or I. Do not attempt to escape the military. Then, I'll have no need to… contact… the Rockbell residence.”

Ed immediately understood the vague threat. Fuck! I… I can't let him hurt Winry…

The alchemist gritted his teeth in anger before saying, “I've got no choice…”

Wrath grinned almost warmly at him for complying. “Oh, also, I’ve retrieved this for you. To be a proper dog of the military, you need this, right?” He said before lightly tossing Ed a silver pocket watch. My watch…

“I managed to get it, courtesy of Pride. Now, I'll have to take my leave.” Finally, the homunculus left Ed alone in his room.

Well, shit. This isn't looking especially great right now. 

\---

Ed was taken out of his (pessimistic) thoughts when he heard the door open. He unconsciously tensed up, afraid that it was going to be Wrath or Pride. To his relief, it was only Roy Mustang who walked in.

The Colonel closed the door behind him. “I heard you had been hospitalized… so I wanted to know what happened.”

“Oh, so now you're suddenly so caring. Thanks.” Ed spat out a little too harshly. But, he was pretty pissed, and it so happened that Mustang was the one who got to feel it.

“Edward, you do know that I actually care about my subordinates, right? That includes you too.” Mustang took a seat beside Ed.

Ed’s conscious immediately made him feel bad for being so rude. He was too busy rationalizing his actions to bother responding to his commanding officer.

Mustang sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The blond was very obviously going to be difficult to deal with.

“How are you feeling, all things considered?”

“Just great. You know, with a gaping hole in my gut. I'm just fine.” Ed didn't think he was sounding that rude with this…

“Fullmetal…” Mustang trailed off. “It's that bad..?” He said quietly, so Ed could hardly hear it.

The blond stared at his worried superior and sighed in resignation. He’d at leave give Mustang some closure… even if he wasn't exactly able to tell the truth.

“...I was spending some time in the woods outside of Central. Just to get away a bit. And… some homunculi attacked me. They kept talking about how I was a ‘Sacrifice’ or whatever… but they really overpowered me. Then the Fuhrer came in and beat them up I guess? I passed out before I saw how it ended.” Ed said slowly, watching Mustang’s reaction.

The Flame Alchemist looked a little bit skeptical at the story. Fullmetal’s openly admitting that he was no match? Where’d his stubbornness go? However, he didn't want to cause Ed any more stress by digging deeper, so he just accepted the story. 

“Thanks for telling me. Do you know when you'll get out of here?” Mustang asked in an effort to lighten Ed’s mood.

“They haven't really told me. Probably won't be for a while though.” Ed groaned at the thought of being bedridden for more than just a few days.

“Yeah, I guess.” Mustang ran out of things to say. So the two stayed in a comfortable silence for a while. 

After noticing that Ed probably wanted his alone time, Mustang said, “Well, I’ve got a lot of paperwork to do. The Lieutenant will get on me if I don't finish it soon.” 

Ed nodded in understanding. “Tell her I said ‘hey’.” 

When Mustang was at the door, he said, “Will do,” and left.

\---

The men under Mustang’s command were busily doing their work. It was their usual paperwork, research, and repairs, nothing new. They had all, at one point, visited the very bored Ed to try and cheer him up a bit. These efforts were met with little result.

“Colonel?” Sergeant Major Fuery spoke up, breaking the silence.

Mustang looked up from his paperwork, grateful for the excuse to stop working. “Yes?”

“I have an idea. Didn't Ed have a childhood friend in Resembool? Maybe if we can get her to come to Central, she can help put Ed in a better mood.” Fuery said.

The superior officer though for a moment before saying, “That's not a bad idea. If anyone, she’s be able to get through to him… I'll get this arranged.”

Fuery nodded, satisfied that he came up with something to help the blond alchemist.

\---

Ed looked up from the alchemic book he was reading when he heard the door open. Again. Every day, someone came to his room. He got that they just wanted to help, but it happened way too often. Come on.

However, his eyes widened when he saw who it was. Winry… shit. She's gonna be hella worried. Fuck.

“Uhh… Hey, Winry.” He started out lamely.

The blond girl sat down beside his bed, her face scrunched up with concern. “Hi, Ed.” She stayed silent for a moment before saying, “Why didn't you tell me that you were hurt?!” Ed tensed up, ready for the rant.

“The only reason that I knew this happened is because Riza told me! God, you're always worrying me! Why can't you at least talk to me sometimes? You're always in these dangerous situations, and you could die at any moment! But, how would I know?! You might get mortally injured at any moment, and I might just keep on waiting for you! Ed, why, why?!” She cried out, tears brimming in her eyes.

“Winry… I'm sorry. I just… didn't want you to be involved. I'm fine now, really.” Ed said, trying to calm his friend down.

“Are you really fine? You would have died if…” She broke down, burying her face into her hands. 

Ed gritted his teeth, guilty that he was making her cry. Again. He reached out, holding one of her hands, trying to be comforting.

Winry grasped onto Ed’s hand, continuing to cry. 

“It's okay Winry… I'm okay now. You don't need to worry…” Ed said gently. He gave Winry a few moments before she calmed down a bit, and her sobs died down to the occasional sniffle. 

She studied Ed’s face for a while before asking, “Oh, yeah. Where's Al? I haven't seen him around yet…”

Ed's eyes widened, and he immediately looked away. Dammit, Winry! I… I had managed to distract myself from that… Why would you bring it up?! Wait… FUCK! I never told her! 

He tensed up, trying his hardest to fight back tears. Not in front of her…

“Ed? What's wrong? Why do you have that look on your face? Ed?!” Winry almost yelled, wondering why he was suddenly so… sad…

“Winry… I…” Ed’s voice cracked. I just can't be the one to tell her…

“Ed! Where's Al?! Why're you…” She trailed off for a bit. “He isn't… dead… is he?” She asked, feeling awful for even suggesting such a thing. There was no way that could happen.

Ed sat up, ignoring the pain in his chest as he did so. He leaned forward enough to wrap his arms around Winry, and finally let his tears fall.

“I'm so sorry… please forgive me… forgive me…” He whispered brokenly through his sobs.

Winry only sat there in shock. How… how could that happen? They hadn't finished their journey yet! How could Al be… gone?

“It's all my fault… I'm so, so fucking sorry, Winry…”

The blond girl eventually returned the alchemist's embrace, shaking. For the second time, she started crying hysterically. The two stayed in that position for what felt like hours before Winry pulled away, her face still flooded with tears.

“How..?” She asked simply.

“We… went to a really dangerous town. And… he got shot in his seal. It's all my fault…” Ed whispered, clenching his fists in his lap.

Winry stayed silent for a while. Then, she stood up suddenly and pushed Ed roughly back into a lying position. She sat back down while he rested an arm over his eyes, hiding his tears.

“You need to rest more… get better… so you don't die on me like that…” Winry said quietly. “Why… why don't you come back to Resembool? You don't have a reason to keep getting into danger anymore. So… just come back… and live peacefully with me and Granny…”

Ed glanced over at his desperate friend. “I… can't.” He stated simply.

“Why not?! What reason could you possibly have to keep risking your life?!” Winry screamed.

“I’ve made too many enemies… I’ve got to stay in the military until it'd be safe for you if I were to come back. I don't want you to get involved with my stupid problems.” And, Wrath will kill you if I leave the military.

Winry stared at him incredulously for a while before saying. “You're always so hot headed… Then you have to promise me! Once you deal with everything, peacefully, you have to come back. Okay?” 

I don't know about the peaceful part… Ed thought, but he didn't want to cause another rant. “...Okay.” He agreed. The alchemist sensed that Winry was in a slightly better mood after he said that.

“Thank you…” Winry whispered. Then, she managed to quickly change the subject to something less serious. She really needed a good distraction right now.

“Hey, did you hear about Den? I made a new automail for her! I learned about it in Rush Valley…”

Ed listened contently as his childhood friend ranted on about automail. He understood what she was trying to do… and appreciated it. Soon enough, both of their moods were at least a little bit less awful.


	10. fucking hell we're almost done with this shit and i can finally fuckin forget about this atrocity

Envy was finally released from Pride’s shadow, being dropped in a miscellaneous room. The homunculus glanced around, noticing that he was being kept in one of the Chimera containment places.

“Do not attempt to escape. It will only make it worse for you,” Pride said before leaving the area.

Yeah, yeah. I'm already in deep shit anyway.

The lone homunculus stood up and stretched, a little cramped from being held in such a strong grip for so long. He began wandering around the room, since he didn't really have anything better to do, occasionally surveying a particularly violent Chimera.

I hope the beansprout’s doing okay…

\---

Envy was lying on the floor, bored out of his mind, when the cursed door finally opened. He just wanted to get this whole thing over with.

Lust walked in, saying, “Father will see you now.”

Envy only nodded in response, not especially in the mood for a conversation. Oh, he'd have plenty of time to talk once he was facing Father’s anger.

\---

Lust had left Envy alone in the spacious room with Father. Haaah… I'm fucked Envy thought bitterly.

It took awhile for the godly figure to acknowledge Envy’s presence.

“So… Envy. I have heard that you appear to be avoiding the assignment that I wanted you to complete. You should know the consequences for this..?”

“...Yes…” Envy said hesitantly.

“That makes this a little simpler.” Father stood up from his chair, walking up to Envy. 

He placed his hand almost kindly on the homunculus’s shoulder, confusing the latter for a moment. However, this didn't last long as a piercing pain coursed through Envy’s body. The sin gasped in pain, his eyes flying wide open, before he collapsed into a heap on the ground.

Fuck… was the only thing that Envy was able to think before passing out.

\---

When the homunculus awoke, he felt a strange heat near his feet. His hazy vision cleared, so that he could see what was beneath him. Then, the smell hit him.

Below him was a mound of what he guessed was human corpses, being burned. And he was hanging above the inferno.

Envy felt his eyes start to water from the smoke, and his heart began to race as the flames only grew higher.

Wait… a heart? I'm… I’m not supposed to have puny human internals!

The homunculus heard a small laugh from in front of him. “I decided to make you slightly more human for this… since that seems to be your worst nightmare,” Father said slowly.

The fire was rising, or was he lowering? Envy couldn't tell, but the flames began to lick at his feet, causing him to grit his teeth in pain. His breathing was quickening as the heat neared him. I'm going to be burned alive. Please, please, no. I don't want this pain!

In his panicked state, his cowardly side took over. Envy began struggling against his restraints hopelessly, trying his hardest to escape. By now, the fire was surrounding his legs, and it was all he could do to not scream in pain. 

Instead, he went for gasping. But, this only increased the smoke that was entering his lungs, and soon enough, he was coughing through his rough breaths. 

Goddamn… my head is going to fucking explode! Envy thought as the scent began getting to his brain, and his rapid breathing wasn't helping. He almost felt like blacking out once again, but it wasn't quite enough for his body to do so. Bastard… making sure I can't escape this pain…

The flames rose up all at once suddenly, enveloping his entire upper body in fire. This time, he was unable to contain his cries. Envy began screaming into the void, almost hoping that it could save him. There was nothing else he could do; he was completely powerless for the first time in his life.

After what seemed like an eternity, Envy’s body was swung sharply to the left, and he was released from his restraints. He immediately crouched on his knees, clutching at his chest as he coughed up his lungs. For a long while after, he let his regenerative powers heal him of his burns, but they seemed to have no effect on his panicked breaths and his demolished lungs.

Envy felt a figure look over him, but could not find the energy to even glance up. 

“This better have taught you a little something,” Father said, looking down at the pitiful looking homunculus. 

The only way that Envy could respond was by letting out a particularly strangled gasp. 

Father walked away, leaving Envy to suffer and wallow in self pity.

\---

Once he was finally able to recover, he stood up, thoroughly shooken. Never realized how much I fucking hate fire…

Envy glanced around, spotting a (wild) Lust near the way he entered the room. He knew without being told that he was supposed to follow her.

The green homunculus was led into another miscellaneous room, but it was lacking Chimeras… along with basically everything. The place was completely barren. 

“You aren't to leave this room unless directed by another homunculus,” Lust says simply before exiting.

“Well this’ll be fun!” Envy calls after her, mildly annoyed. Or pretty fucking annoyed. Just coop him up in some empty room with literally nothing to do okay.

Envy sat down angrily in one of the corners and tried his best to entertain himself with just his mind.

\---

“You say that he seemed… what?” Lust asked, confused.

“Like he was getting a little too close to the Elric.” Pride replied.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

“Investigate. You used to go on several missions with him. Therefore, you should be able to know a way to find out if he's more distracted than usual. This should be evidence enough that he is overstepping his boundaries.”

“I'll try my best,” Lust said as she left to go ‘investigate’.

\---

Envy heard the old door opening, looking up in near-glee. Praise. Someone's fucking here.

He looked up to see Lust waltzing into the room. Why’s she moving her hips so much?

“Can I go n--” Envy was cut off by Lust’s lips on his. His eyes widened in surprise, but he made no effort to move away. He knew that Lust was experienced with this. So it'd be pretty… pleasurable.

The green homunculus let Lust slip her tongue into his mouth, and managed to keep them at a dominance-deadlock; neither of them was claiming the other. 

As Envy focused on his mouth, the other homunculus slipped her hand downwards, trailing his thin build all the way down. Lust was given a moan of approval when she hooked her fingers around his skort, pulling it down, and wrapped her fingers around his hardening member. 

I could have gotten Midget to do this… Envy found himself thinking as Lust began to expertly move her hand up and down his cock, and mentally berated himself. Just enjoy the moment, Envy, come on.

Caught up in his thoughts for a moment, the green homunculus didn't notice that List had stripped down. He moved his eyes hungrily over her sexy bod, licking his now-free lips. She stared him straight in the eyes, smirking just a little bit. 

Envy moaned lowly as Lust lowered herself quickly onto his length. She braced herself on his hips, effectively stopping him from moving on his own. Damn, clever bitch. He almost wanted to complain, but never got the chance.

Lust took mercy on him, moaning just a bit every time she was once again filled with Envy.

“How… do you manage to stay so tight?” Envy groaned, thoroughly enjoying his free fuck. The other homunculus simply smiled at him in return, somehow turning him on further.

It only took a few more movements before Envy grunted loudly, spilling his seed into Lust. She moaned in return, reuniting their lips for a minute. Then, Lust pushed herself off his softening member, putting her clothes back on.

“You're just as good as I remember,” She grinned, exiting.

Well, damn. That was more entertaining than I hoped.

\---

“Pride. It does, in fact, appear that he's more… distracted… than usual.” Lust reported.

“And how did you come to find this?” Pride inquired.

“Oh, just gave him a little taste of my body… and he did certainly seem distracted at some point,”

“Very good. This will be enough to make Father more properly cautious about setting him free. Father can be much too trusting sometimes.”

Lust nodded in agreement, although she was slightly conflicted. I don't especially want Envy to be trapped here though, like Greed was before…


End file.
